Lance's Hips Don't Lie
by XxEviXkittenxX
Summary: This is literally just Lance being a dork and dancing to give Keith a boner. and later on feels (I dunno where they came from either)
1. Author's Note

So, I have decided to share with you a few of the RPs that FrostTrish and I have ended up having over the years. Also none of these are going to be beta'd so there are bound to be plenty of mistakes. They are literally just random things we text back and forth and magically we've saved a few of them. If you have any questions at all please ask, and since we do this script and improve style, if we contradict one another or forget things, I promise it's not intentional. Like, these fucking things usually go on for weeks or months at a time while we try to accomplish one fucking plot line so honestly, I don't even know how we keep it all straight sometimes. (Like, at one point, we had about 6 of these things going at a single time. Shit got confusing, fast!)

usually we do it;

Character: dialogue *actions* (Thoughts)

but, I'll give you guys a run down in the notes for each one.

Also, /words/ are emphasized. Like, italics, it's just most of the time we're texting on our phones and you can't really do italics that way, so that was what we came up with to compensate.


	2. Lance's Hips Don't Lie Pt 1

**Summary:**

This is literally just Lance being a dork and dancing to give Keith a boner.

and later on feels (I dunno where they came from either)

* * *

 **Notes:**

So this was literally just us talking and dicking around. Like, I was listening to music and Hips don't lie came on and since I was working on a Voltron fic at the time I instantly thought of Lance dancing to it. Both of out browsers were having issues at the time so we weren't able to save the whole conversation leading up to it, but we saved enough that you can see how the thought process happened.

Character: dialogue *actions* (Thoughts)

In this case, Actions are bolded due to Google docs chat. (So it's Character: dialogue **actions** and then about halfway through it's *actions*

Also, /words/ are emphasized. Like, italics, it's just most of the time we're texting on our phones and you can't really do italics that way, so that was what we came up with to compensate.

Literally this was how this whole thing got started, it spiraled fast XD

me  
and that was how everyone found out that Lance's hips don't lie XD

frosty  
XD

me  
it would be beautiful XD

frosty  
that it would XD

me  
like, both Shiro and Keith just stop working and Hunk is just like "Yes! Shakira Lance is back!" and Pidge is just slightly confused as to why he's so good at dancing like a sexy woman XD

frosty  
Sounds about right XD

me  
And then he breaks out Britney and Hunk joins in on singing XD  
Pidge would too after the initial shock XD

frosty  
all of my yes XD

me  
Keith and Shiro would end up having to hold the wall in order to not fall over XD

frosty  
and then Shiro would start singing too, just to get on Keith's nerves XD

me  
XD  
And imagine Lance explaining it though. "Oh, see, I've been taking dance classes since I was able to walk, and you bet your ass I was the sexiest guy in that class."

Hunk - "You were the only guy."

Lance - "Hence, the sexiest. but in all seriousness, I could seduce anyone with my mad skill back home, I was Shakira bitch!"

* * *

Keith: yeah right.

Hunk: no, literally, he was the Sakira of Varadero.

Hunk: That was his legit title

Pidge: It would be. _

Lance: And you best believe I was breaking necks with how fast heads would turn when I belted Britney~ **grins**

Keith: I'd really rather not believe it.

Shiro: Lance, you might be good but I think that's a bit-

Hunk: Do you doubt the queen?

Shio: It just sounds like a bit of an exaggeration is all ^_^'

Allura: queen? **confused**

Keith: It's an expression. He's not really a queen. -_-

Lance: Hunk, We're putting on a concert! We have non believers to convert!

Hunk: Usual lineup?

Lance: Let's replace Beyonce with Christina this time. I love her, but I'm feelin' Vain tonight **grins before he runs off for the clothing modulator to make his outfit**

Keith: I think I'm going to pass on that. I'll be in the training hall if you need me. -_-

Hunk: no can do buddy, besides, you won't want to miss this **grins** if you thought he was good at Hips don't lie, you'll love this.

Shiro: **shakes his head, smiling a bit** Come on Keith, what could it hurt to indulge him a little?

Keith: My eyes.

Pidge: you mean you're heart mr. I had to hold the wall up to hide my weak knees~? **grins** Hunk doesn't lie to us, and Lance obviously has some pretty tight dance moves~

Keith: Yeah, I'd still rather fight the drones.

Allura: This is starting to sound like a very good bonding exercise, I think you should join us Keith, it will help us get to know Lance a little better ^_^

Shiro: Come on Keith, it will be fun. **smiles**

Keith: I really don't want to.

Pidge: Well, you don't get a choice! We'll tie you to a chair if we have to. Right Hunk? ^_^

Hunk: If he's tied to a chair, Lance might use him as a prop, that sounds too dangerous for his health **snickers**

Pidge: even better **smirks**

Shiro: For what?

Hunk: **pats Shiro's back** you'll see. don't worry. And Keith, for your own health, please come willingly when it's time, I don't want Pidge to tie you to a chair unless she has to. **grins** Pidge, wanna help me make a stage?

Pidge: I'd love to~ **they head off**

Keith: Now I /really/ don't want to go.

Shiro: **smiles** come on, I'll spar with you until they're ready for us, and you can tell me all about why you /don't/ want to go.

Keith: Is it really that hard to figure out? Why would I want to watch him dancing to the most mind numbing music on earth?

Shiro: To get to know him better. You know what they say, you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. And Lance seems to listen to a little bit of everything. When Imagine Dragons came on don't think I didn't see you tapping your foot and singing along while you were polishing Red **smirks, leading them out of the room**

Keith: Yeah but Britney spears? Shakira? Madonna? No thanks. -_-

Shiro: they've all been in the game long enough that some people must think they're pretty good.

Keith: And I happen to think they're not.

Shiro: Well, I'm not too fond of Nickleback, but you don't see me shunning you for liking them.

Keith: I'm not shunning him, I just don't want to listen to it. And I definitely don't need to watch him dance to it.

Shiro: It'll be fun at the very least, come on, no need to be so serious all the time.

Keith: I think our ideas of fun differ.

Shiro: Even if you don't like the music, you have to admit that his dancing was pretty good, right?

Keith: I guess.

Shiro: Besides, I doubt he'd do any of the super big Britney songs like Oops I did it again or something else inane **ruffles Keith's hair**

Keith: Please don't underestimate him. I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Shiro: **shrugs** that's really all I know by her

Keith: You're lucky then. -_-

Shiro: Well are there any songs you really hope he /doesn't/ do? We could probably ask Hunk to tell Lance to exclude them.

Keith: I hope he just by some miracle decides to call the whole thing off.

Shiro: I could have swore you liked him, why don't you try a little harder to at least let him show you why he likes these artists **chuckles as they get to the training deck**

Keith: We fight ALL the time Shiro. what made you think I like him? _

Shiro: **raises a brow** really Keith, you're questioning my intuition? When have I ever been wrong about when you like a guy? I know your flirting habits, don't lie to me.

Keith: ... **sighs** Fine. Just don't tell anyone... please. _

Shiro: If I haven't yet - Because trust me, there have been plenty of chances - what makes you think I will now that you know I know? - which, frankly, I am slightly offended that you thought I /didn't/ know.

Keith: I thought I was being more discreet... Sorry.

Shiro: **laughs** then make up to me for it by actually trying to enjoy later. He seemed offended that you didn't want to go, so maybe if you try to have fun he won't pick on you too much?

Keith: I think I'd prefer to be a wallflower for the time being.

Shiro: That won't get you in his good books **frowns and gets into position**

Keith: Maybe I'd rather not get in his "good books". **gets ready as well** I'd rather just let this crush blow over. I'll get over it eventually. _

Shiro: Why not try to pursue it? He's a nice boy.

Keith: Yeah, but is this really the right time and place to be going after someone? Besides, he probably already has someone that he likes back home. I wouldn't be surprised.

Shiro: well, you'll never know unless you ask him. **smiles** or Hunk. I mean, they're practically joined at the hip, I'm sure he'd know if Lance had a crush back home.

Keith: I'd really rather just let it be for now. _

Shiro: I wonder **blocking as Keith starts their sparring session** what would the odds be that he liked /you/ back at the garrison? ^_^

Keith: I dunno, I didn't really pay him any attention, then I got kicked out. **continues jabbing at him kinda halfheartedly**

Shiro: Maybe, but you had a lot of secret admirers back at the Garrison and you really didn't talk to anyone but me.

Keith: There wasn't any point to. I was focusing on getting through it, despite how stupid the teachers sounded.

Shiro: **shrugs and decides to drop it for the time being, and actually focus on the fight, giving Keith a break**

~ With Pidge and Hunk ~

Hunk: Okay, so what props do we have to work with?

Pidge: Um, I think that depends on the song roster. Obviously he's got the stamina for the length of like, an actual concert because fuck, that boy can go longer than the damn energizer bunny, but I don't suppose you can guess some of his song choices?

Lance: **walks around the corner into the room with a page of paper** Fear not~ I can tell you right now, though Pidgon, I will need your opinion on a couple of them.

Pdge: Alright, shoot.

Lance: Okay, so while picking the Britney songs I was having a bit of a hard time picking between Gimmie More and If U Seek Amy for one

Hunk: ... Are you trying to kill Keith?

Lance: No, make him pop a boner, maybe. The other two are (Drop Dead) Beautiful and Toxic, I'm going to do two. I just don't know which two.

Pidge: hmmmm, Gimmie More and Toxic. Those will be fun **snickers**

Lance: Okay, then I've got a line up **grins** What order? Shakira, Gwen Stefani, Britney, Christina Aguilera, Kesha, Rihanna, and if all goes well, Adam Lambert as the encore~

Pidge: Shakira and Britney should be first, they're expecting those two. **chuckles**

Lance: Then let's start strong with Spanish so I can catch him off guard, Shakira's La Tortura, and then She Wolf, he'll feel pretty safe with those two.

Hunk: Okay, **writing them down** And we already decided Gimmie More and Toxic for Britney

Lance: **nods** I want Christina's song Vanity last, and Hunk, I need you to say the last line, okay~? **smirks**

hunk: **chuckles** I can do that

Pidge: Haven't heard that one **grins** Should I ask or is it better as a surprise?

Lance: Oh just you wait~

Hunk: Okay, so then what else do you have?

Lance: Well Primadonna is going to be the other Christina song, I really wanted to do Candyman, but that might actually have killed him.

Hunk: Yeah no, good call.

Pidge: **chuckles** What? You /don't/ want him dying over this?

Lance: I want him to feel like he's dying, not actually die **smirks** besides, with Rihanna's Rude boy and Shut up and Drive, I think he'll be halfway there **grins**

Hunk: **laughs** I know you're all for torturing the guys you like, but after this you should probably just tell him.

Lance: if he can't tell after this, he's beyond help **snickers**

Pidge: what else? you said Kesha, and Gewny Gwen Gwen too.

Lance: **hands over the list** "Kesha - Blow  & Take it Off, Gwen - What are you waiting for & Bubble Pop Electric, Adam Lambert - If I had you & For Your Entertainment"

Hunk: Hopefully we won't have to actually tie him to a chair to get him to come. ^_^'

Lance: **snickers** He'll need the chair regardless when I'm done with him~

Hunk: Yes, but not being tied to one gives him a little bit more of a chance. **chuckles** starting off that way may serve as too big a temptation for you to mess with too much too soon.

Lance: If you have to tie him the chair, I will give him a lap dance.

Pidge: Sold!

Hunk: Pidge! No, we have to give him a chance before that.

Pidge: Oh come on! It will be fun!

Lance: I'll be nice to him and tease Shiro a little too~ Does that help at all Hunk?

Hunk: **rolls his eyes, not helping the smirk on his face** Whatever Lance.

Pidge: **chuckles** Heads up about Shiro though, He's already taken. That's not to say that he won't get a little turned on himself though if the way you guys keep talking up these dance moves is anything to go off of.

Hunk: no one is safe. Not even Coran.

Pidge: what about you? **teases**

Hunk: What did I just say? No one is safe. I will openly admit that with no shame at all.

Lance: Of course, this ass in this outfit **hold out his selected attire** will look absolutely amazing. **grins** But let's back this boner train up a little and go back to the bit about Shiro being taken? Who and when?

Pidge: **laughs** a few months before the Kerberos mission, he and my brother got together while they were getting ready for it.

Lance: Well fuck, I guess that threesome fantasy just went out the door.

Pidge: Pretty sure you wouldn't have convinced them to do that. Shiro thinks of Keith as a brother, you wouldn't fuck your brother would you?

Lance: Goddammit. No. Fine. **sighs dramatically**

Hunk: **chuckles** you can still fantasize over it though.

Lance: Yeah, but it's a little less exciting now that I know for a fact that it's a no-go.

Pidge: **chuckles** Sorry to crush your horny dreams.

Lance: nah, Thanks for telling me so I don't make an ass of myself by asking **chuckles** okay so, how's sound and lights coming along?

Hunk: So far so good. Still gotta figure out what props you want though.

Lance: **hums** well as long as it goes with the outfit, I can make anything work, **hands hunk the outfit** so I'll leave it for you to surprise me. I'm gonna go raid the water pouches though, I'm gonna need a lot of them **darts off**

Hunk: ^_^'

*a bit later after everything is set up & Shiro convinces Keith to go with him*


	3. Lance's Hips Don't Lie Pt 2

**Summary:**

When the format changes back to Character: dialogue *actions* you can tell that we just started texting it rather than using chat XD

* * *

Allura: *sitting on the couch, very excited* oh! This will be such fun, I can not wait to see what your fellow Paladins come up with! ^_^

Coran: this is quite the setup that they have made *admiring Hunk and Pidge's handiwork*

Hunk: Only the best for the queen~

Shiro: *walks in with a very disgruntled Keith* we aren't late are we?

Pidge: I doubt he'd start without the guests of honor *smirks*

Hunk: yeah, after all, this whole thing was to show you two he was serious *grins*

Keith: seriously over the top. _

Hunk: *shrugs* you know Lance, never one to do something dramatic halfway *smiles* I'm just glad Pidge didn't have to tie you to a chair, I think you'll enjoy this a lot more if you can move

Keith: I'm not going to dance if that's what you're getting at.

Hunk: no no, that's not what I mean ^_^'

Keith: *rolls his eyes & sits on the other side of the couch*

Shiro: well, I'm excited to see what he does. *smiles*

Pidge: and we're sure by the halfway point, so will Keith *grins*

Keith: I can still leave. -_-

Hunk: you won't want to though, trust me. Have you ever seen Sucker Punch, Keith?

Keith: It was on the list, but not yet.

Hunk: oh, well this oughtta be fun then *snickers*

Keith: That's not making me feel any better about coming. _

Lance: *walks out onto the stage from behind a curtain in red leather pants and a black leather vest with steel toe combat stiletto boots* oh baby, you'll be comin' alright~ *smirks* Pidge, Hunk, are we ready?

Pidge: ready when you are!

Keith: *sitting ramrod straight, with wide eyes as Lance turns around to step up onto the stage*

Shiro: *pats Keith's back* remember to breathe.

Keith: *whispers* I'm gonna die Shiro.

Shiro: *chuckles lightly, still whispering* I wouldn't blame you.

Lance: alright *grabs a mic from a little pedestal center stage back* welcome Castle of Lions~ tonight we have MC Hunk Garrett, *gestures to Hunk* and on lights, the wonderful and talented miss Pidge Gunderson! *blows a kiss to Pidge* Without them, this would be a lot less glamorous, so let's give them some love before we start, okay? ^_^

Shiro: *chuckles & starts applauding, humoring them, allura & Coran following suit*

Keith: _ *claps half heartedly, not wanting to be rude, but not wanting to look at Lance at all*

Lance: alright, so the first song of the night is classic Shakira, but don't worry folks, we're starting out Classy. La Tortura~ hit it Hunk! *grins*

Hunk: *nods with a grin & starts the track*

Pidge: *centers the lights on Lance as the track starts and he starts singing perfect Spanish and swaying his hips to the beat*

Keith: *just kinda sinks back into the couch, trying not to look directly at him*

Shiro: this isn't so bad, right Keith? He's actually really good ^_^

Allura: I do not understand what he's saying

Keith: because it's in spanish. Our planet has many different languages. _

Hunk: well Lance /is/ Cuban, so he knows Spanish. But this is the only one not in English, don't worry. ^_^

Allura: that doesn't sound convenient at all.

Shiro: not really, but there are a few semi universal languages that most people speak. *smiles to her*

*the song ends and Lance is grinning like a fool*

Allura: still, it can't help with diplomacy or communication at all.

Keith: it really doesn't.

Hunk: *while Lance downs a water pouch* alright, next is a crowd favorite back home; *the song starts playing* She Wolf *grins*

Lance: *popping his hip to the into bars, smirking*

Shiro: Haven't heard this one before.

Keith: Since when do you listen to Shakira anyways?

Shiro: um, with Matt? He likes her. *shrugs* Love is compromise Keith. *smiles*

Lance: a domesticated girl, that's all you ask of me, but darling this is no joke, this is lycanthropy~ *grins, keeping his eyes on Keith as he runs his hands through his hair as the song goes on*

Keith: *averting his eyes, really not wanting to risk Lance's gaze*

Lance: *shifts his eyes to Shiro for just a second* I've been devoting myself to you Monday to Monday and Friday to Friday. Not getting enough retribution or decent incentives to keep me at it. Starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office, ah.~ So I'm gonna go somewhere closer to get me a lover and tell you about it~ *runs his hands down his chest, smirking, his eyes scanning the room through the chorus*

Keith: *hoping the next song isn't too bad*

Lance: *hops off the stage to sit on the edge, his chin on his fist, elbow resting on his crossed knee, looking to Keith* Sitting across the bar, staring right at her prey, It's going well so far, she's gonna get her way. *winks to Hunk and continues the song, roving the floor, interacting with his small audience*

*everyone for the most part enjoying his performance, Hunk and pidge playing along with the gestures he makes*

Lance: *rounds Keith's seat, putting his hands on Keith's shoulders, leaning in to sing his lime into his ear* I'm having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy~ *pushes off and struts back up onto the stage and finishes off the song, enunciating the heavy breathing at the end with a smouldering look to the audience and a hand on his chest, leaning back slightly*

*the end of his performance is met with another applause*

Lance: *grins* I don't think the next one really needs an introduction, do you Hunk? *chuckles as he centers himself on the stage*

Hunk: *laughs* I'm sure they'll get the name pretty quick.

Lance: next, boys, I'm sure you saw it coming, the immeasurably talented Miss Britney Spears *smirka as Toxic starts playing*

Keith: *suppressing the urge to groan*

Shiro: Keith?

Keith: I knew he would do this _ I'm just gonna *moves to get up but is stopped by Shiro holding his wrist*

Shiro: come on, it's not /that/ bad. *smiles*

Keith: imagine being in my shoes shiro. What if it was Matt?

Shiro: *smirks*

Keith: Okay, bad example. -_-

Shiro: if Matt were in all leather dancing like that, I would die a happy man. Regardless of music. He could be dancing to Taylor Swift and I would still love it. And you know how she always gives me headaches.

Keith: I know. -_- Like I said, bad example.

Shiro: so then just sit down and enjoy it ^_^

Keith: -_-

Allura: I don't understand, this is quite catchy, why are you trying to leave? *smiles*

Keith: I'm not enjoying this near as much as the rest of you.

Coran: it is quite provocative, but strangely entrancing? *watching Lance with rapt attention*

Keith: it's uncomfortable.

Pidge: what? Are you having a /hard/ time over there~? *snickers*

Keith: Shut up Pidge. -_-

Pidge: I'm right though, huh~? *grins*

Keith: I'm not opposed to hitting a girl you know.

Pidge: and I'm not adverse to cheap shots, so it's up to you if you ever want to be able to father children or not *smirks*

Keith: I really don't. _

Shiro: Keith, long term consequences aside, for your health, don't instigate this fight.

Hunk: uh, Pidge, *whispers to her* Lance might have a few choice words for you if you do that.

Lance: *scowls at them not paying attention to him ad the song ends and his heels click loudly as he crosses the stage to get another water*

Keith: I didn't start it. -_-

Shiro: no, but you're causing the escalation.

Lance: Hunk, move the next one down a few, I think it's time for Rihanna. Especially since a certain Mullet head seems to like being /rude/

Hunk: *chuckles* okay lance *after a second the beat to Rude Boy starts to play*

Lance: *stomps off stage as he starts the song* come on rude boy, boy can you get it up? Come on rude boy, boy is you big enough? *gets right up in Keith's face, smirking*

Keith: *curls his toes & digs his fingernails into his palms, trying to keep a straight face, but can't quite help the faint blush*

Shiro: *snickers next to him*

Lance: tonight, I'mma let you be the captain~ *runs his hands into Keith's hair, moving to straddle Keith's lap* tonight, I'mma let you do your thing yeah, *grins, moving his chest right up against Keith's, gripping his hair by the roots* tonight I'mma let you be a rider, giddyup giddyup giddyup babe~ *grinds lightly as he bounces slightly in his lap, pulling Keith's hair/scalp slightly as he leans back just a little, bit not enough to really hurt him*

Kieth: *completely beet red now, glancing to Shiro for help*

Pidge: *cackling* he's redder than his lion!

Shiro: *smirks, shaking his head at Keith's pleading look*

Keith: *suppresses another groan and the profanity that was ready to slip from his mouth*

Lance: *proceeds to give Keith a lap dance as he sings the song, smirking* I like the way you touch me there *grinds his ass against Keith's groin, pulling one white knuckled hand from Keith's knee to card through his own hair* I like the way you pull my hair, babe if I don't feel it I ain't fakin' no more~

Pidge: *snickers* Too much more Lance and I think you'll break him

Lance: *flashes her a smirk as he moves off of Keith's lap, pulling him up to stand in front of him, feigning confrontation as he sings the next part, pushing him lightly* so get up, time to get it up, *pokes his chest a little harder* you say you a rude boy, show me what you got right now~ *shoves him back into his seat, smirking as he saunters back towards the stage* comin' right nooooooow~ take it take it baby baby take it take it love me love me~ *finishes off the song with the chorus one more time*

Keith: *whispering* Shiro, I can't take any more of this

Shiro: maybe, *teases* but now the question becomes can you comfortably get up and leave with that tent you're sporting~? *chuckles and nods towards Keith's lap*

Keith: no. _

Shiro: then let go and enjoy the show, obviously he's /trying/ to rile you up. That's good, isn't it?

Coran: Lance my boy, what sort of dance was that last one? It seemed …

Allura: *bright red* quite inappropriate, I believe is what Coran was going to say /

Keith: I don't know _

Lance: It's very popular on earth~

Pidge: it's called a Lap dance Coran, Princess~ and that was probably the best one I've ever seen done *grins*

Hunk: how many lap dances have you seen?

Pidge: I watch movies Hunk, I've seen enough. *still grinning*

Shiro: *rubs Keith's back* so, is Rihanna as bad as you were expecting? *teases*

Keith: he's gonna give me a damn heart attack.

Shiro: well, if that last dance was anything to go off of, I don't think he minds you touching him~ tease back.

Keith: is that really a good idea though? _

Shiro: *leans in to whisper to him* by this point? I think it's mandatory. *smirks*

Keith: then whatever happens is in you. _

Shiro: I'm okay with this, after that dance, I'm wingman Shiro, not leader Shiro. *chuckles*

Kieth: *shrugs* if you say so.

Hunk: alright boys and girls~ next song, beloved by most all Rihanna fans; Shut Up and Drive~! *grins and plays the song*

Keith: He likes pop way too much _

Shiro -_- *speaking a little louder as he deadpans* Keith, you have no room to talk mr. I-had-a-tee shirt-for-literally-every-k pop-boyband-ever.

Lance: *messes up the intro, missing his cue as he laughs, waving the song off for a second* I'm sorry, what? Did I just hear that right? /Keith/ likes K-pop? *grins as Hunk pauses the song*

Kieth: *groans* Shiiiroooooooooo

Shiro: woops, well, it's out there now. *snickers*

Keith: *leaning forward, drops his head to his hands, trying to hide the blush* I hate you.

Lance: no no, that's cool, I like Psy's new song Daddy~ *smirks*

Keith: Of course you would.

Shiro: & since he knows korean, memorizing songs is nothing. *snickers*

Keith: great. Can you go back to being leader Shiro? I don't like this current version. _

Shiro: nope, you haven't said you were satisfied with your care *jokes*

Lance: I need proof, private concert later~? *smirks* you be my curry, I'll be your rice~ *laughs*

Keith: Not funny.

Shiro: Oh he could probably do it now. Pretty sure he has that one down too. *snickers*

Keith: Shiro! Shut the fuck up!

Lance: as much as I would love to watch him flounder on stage with a raging boner, I'm afraid I can't let even Keith upstage me right now~ later though, for sure*smirks* let's try this again~ *twirls his finger and Hunk restarts the track*

Hunk: he's a diva when he's on stage *sheepish smile*

Shiro: *laughs* I can tell

Lance: I've been lookin' for a driver who was qualified, so if you think that you're the one step into my ride~ *gets right back into the groove of his concert*

Keith: *hisses* wingman Shiro is dead to me.

Shiro: *snickers* hey, it worked didn't it? Besides, *whispers* it's not like I mentioned those old dance videos you used to try imitate. ... Yet. *smirks*

Keith: *glares at him* don't you dare. I will strike you dead where you stand, Voltron be damned.

Shiro: I still have some of them stashed away at home *snickers* I think my favorite one is Gee

Keith: *pointedly ignores Shiro by focusing back on Lance, not sure which one is worse at the moment*

Lance: *is over in Allura and Coran's space, dancing, but no where near as suggestive as when he was in Keith's space* so step inside and ride ride ride~ *winks to Keith when he sees his eyes on him again* shut up and drive~

Keith: *mutters to himself* you guys are killing me.

Lance: *the song ends with a crashing sound from the track and as Lance literally jumps up from the ground up back onto the stage in his heels* Pidge, will you be my backup on the next one, since you are a fan of miss Gwen Stefani~?

Pidge: of course I'll be your Johnny~

Hunk: inhabitants of the castle, I give you; Bubble Pop Electric! *grins*

Keith: and this song is just weird to me. _

Lance: it's the perfect follow up for Shut Up and Drive~

Pidge: dudes, it's about fucking in a car, what's not to get?

Keith: I know. I just think the rhythm is weird. It's not as catchy to me as a lot of others. _

Pidge: so now we have proof that Keith is satan spawn. *nods* since he doesn't like Gwen Fucking Stefani.

Keith: *rolls his eyes*

Lance: he's just uncultured, we'll just have to educate him~ *the music starts* come on Jonny, when you gonna get here~?

Pidge: Alright, just hold your pretty horses, I'll be there in a minute, you just get yourself dolled up toots, and you pick a place, you just pick a place.

Lance: um, Johnny~?

Pidge: yeah, Gwenny Gwen Gwen?

Lance: you might wanna hurry because tonight is theeeeee night~ *smirka over to Keith as he brings his hand down his things and drops it low, spreading his legs just a bit as he licks his lips teasingly* I'm empty, I need fulfilling, yes I do love~

Keith: *rolls his eyes* nope. Not getting me with this one. *crosses his arms, determined*

Lance: *pouts* Ok now, I understand he's on his way now, But jeez louise I mean today now. I can't wait, I wanna play now~

Shiro: *chuckles* Come on Keith, it's not bad.

Keith: I like some of her music, but this song just doesn't sit right *chuckles* Sorry Lance.

Lance: *shrugs and focuses on the other three watchers as the song continues* bye mom

Pidge: *ignores Keith as she says her lines* so baby where wanna go huh?

Lance: The need to be satisfied~, Come pick me up I want a ride~, Hurry, hurry come to me, Drive in movie, Drive in move me, Drive into me~ *winks at Allura as he finishes the song out*

Hunk: *chuckles* so, to the next one or do you wanna chew him out first?

Lance: that depends, is he going to diss my other Stefan song? *hands on his hips*

Pidge: *scoffs, hopping down off the stage* if he doesn't like what you waiting for, I'm jettisoning him out the airlock.

Keith: *chuckles* nah, that one is okay.

Hunk: I think you almost died bro, she was not kidding.

Coran: you kids are so passionate about your music! ^_^

Allura: please though, I do not quite understand the lyrics for some of these …

Pidge: which ones?

Allura: … to be perfectly honest, the last three were the worst so far.

Lance: you know what Princess, you don't really need to understand the lyrics to enjoy them *smiles*

Allura: I'm still lost ... But okay.

Shiro: I'll explain them later. Don't worry ^_^'

Allura: *smiles* alright.

Keith: You have fun with that Shiro.

Hunk: it'll be a short explanation *snickers as the next song queued up starts*

Shiro: Try to actually enjoy this one Keith *chuckles*

Keith: maybe _

Pidge: drops the lights and brings up a spotlight on Lance as the intro plays*

Lance: what an amazing time~ what a family~ how did the years go by~? Now it's only meeeee~

*the light come up with the base, Lance swaying his hips and tapping his heel to the beat, grinning*

*all watching somewhat intently*

Lance: *interacting with the others more the song as he sang, laying across laps, hands in hair (his and theirs) and just generally being a tease*

*Allura & Coran having fun with it now as well, laughing, but playing along*

Lance: *comes over to drape himself over Keith's shoulders as he sings the last bit* take a chance you stupid hoe. *smirking* take a chance you stupid hoe. *echos it a few more times as the song fades out*

Allura: *chuckles* I think this was a good idea.

Lance: any idea where I get to call Keith a stupid hoe is a good idea. *snickers, pinching his cheek as he stands straight again*

Keith: *rolls his eyes*

Hunk: *chuckles* okay then, are we picking Britney back up or skipping her second song?

Lance: nah, we can bring Britney back *smirks*

Keith: depends. Which song, the last one was shit.

Lance: lies. But, Gimme More of course~

Keith: *sighs* of course it is.

Lance: what do you have against Britney Spears? She is amazing!

Keith: *shrugs* Pop is hit or miss with me.

Lance: *groans* fine. If you don't like the song, you won't watch the dance so it won't be worth it. We'll skip it.

Hunk: Alright, then next is Kesha, Blow *grins and plays the song before Keith can object*

Shiro: *nudges Keith with his elbow* loosen up

Keith: … right.

Lance: *starts with his head down as the song begins, grinning he chuckles with the track* Dance. *starts popping his hip and then strutting around the stage as the lyrics start, showing off his legs and ass* Back door cracked, we don't need a key, we get in for free, no VIP sleaze. *steps down and sits in Shiro's lap, running a hand along under his chin* drink that kool-aid follow my lead, you're one of us, *gets up and pulls at Shiro's collar lightly with a predatory smirk on his lips* you're comin' with me~

Shiro: *chuckles & winks at him, deciding to just have fun with it*

Lance: *winks back* it's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down~ *struts over to Cora* this place about ta- tonight we're taking over, *twirls the edge of Coran's stash with a pointer finger* no one's getting out~ *struts back over to the stage as the chorus hits, grabbing an extendable pole from Pidge as he passes her, pressing a button and letting it extend down into a hole, hidden on the stage and up to the ceiling before he uses the pole to swing around and grind on, doing different acrobatics on it*

Shiro: I did /not/ expect pole dancing *smirks over to Keith to see how he was handling the new information*

Keith: He's going to kill me Shiro. I can't take this any more. *sinking into the couch, trying to disappear, but also can't seem to look away*

Lance: Now what? *drops down with a backflip with a loud click of his heels*

Hunk: *back up voice* what?

Lance: *grins* we're taking control~ we take what we want *leers at keith, crooking his finger with a smirk, pulling Hunk up his chest at the edge of the stage* we do what you don't~ *leans in and kisses Hunk quickly on the lips, not breaking eye contact with Keith until the last second*

Keith: *trying not to squirm, but only becomes more uncomfortable as time goes on*

Pidge: *shoots a homemade glitter gun at Lance as he pulls back from Hunk, showering him in chemical made glitter*

Lance: *grins* dirt and Glitter cover the floor *hops down, plopping down in Allura's lap, petting her cheek* we're pretty and sick *props his legs up on Coran's lap, reaching over the arm rest for a black trilby hat as he lays back over them* we're young and we're bored. *lays the hat over his face, faux pout in place*

*Allura & coran both chuckle & look around curiously at all the glitter*

Lance: *sings the hook as he gets up, wiping glitter on Allura's face with both hands on her cheeks, and walks back to the stage to go back to the pole*

Allura: *brushes some of the glitter onto her fingers & looks at it*

Shiro: wooow~ *nudges Keith with his elbow, smirking* look how flexible he is~ not to mention those muscles to keep him up like that~

Keith: *mutters menacingly* Shut uuup

Shiro: I mean, look at that, you can see his abs working just below the vest when he does that sideways handstand, like, I don't think even I could do that~ *chuckles*

Keith: I will hit you

Shiro: that may be, but the real question is would it have any power behind it with how weak you are right now~ *smirks, leaning back more in his seat to watch Lance work*

Keith: fuck off -_-

Lance: go go go insane go insane *struts up to Keith* throw some glitter *pops his vest* make it rain *showering Keith in glitter* on them, let me see them hands, let me let me see them hands *smirks* we are taking, over, get used to it. This place about to *makes a jerk it motion in front of his crotch with his hand a few times as he sang the line* blow! *flicks his hand at Keith's face with the word, then bringing it up to blow him a kiss, smirking* blooow oooh oooh oooh this place about to blooow~ *ending the song by dropping into Keith's lap*

Keith: *does his best to keep his voice even* You're /really/ testing my limits here Lance.

Lance: that's the plan pretty boy~ *smirks*

Keith: Then I hope you don't expect to finish your concert _

Lance: *covers his mouth in mock hurt* you would skip Christina Aguilera and Adam Lambert? What sort of monster are you~? *chuckles* well, we'll just have to see just how much more you can take~ ^_^

Keith: not much more, I can tell you that much. -_-

Lance: oh boy~ then this next one ought to be pretty fun. *grins*

Hunk: *chuckles* picked just for you buddy, Kesha, Take it off~ *winks at them, starting the track*

Lance: *leans in close to Keith, their foreheads touching as he looks into his eyes* there's a place downtown, where the freaks all come around, it's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all~ *smirks, tracing his hands down from Keith's shoulders to play with his jacket* when the dark~ of the night, comes around, that's the time~ *pushes his hands inside the jacket against his chest* that the animal, comes alive, looking for something wild~ *smirk never leaving his face*

Shiro: *snickering at the conflict in Keith's eyes*

Allura/Coran: *leaning over to watch around Shiro*

Keith: *takes a second to think about whether to embrace it or push him away, coming to the conclusion of "if my crush is gonna serve himself up on a silver fucking platter, might as well let him" & moves his hands to Lance's waist, sliding them down to grope his ass, his perplexed expression shifting to a smirk*

Allura: *leaning closer to Coran* what is a "drunk text", and how do you wear it?

Pidge/Hunk: *silently high five, grinning as the notice Keith's hands*

Lance: *smirks wider, rolling his hips with his lines* there's a place I know if you're lookin' for a show~ where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor *jerks his head back towards the glitter mess from the last song* and they, turn me on *grinds against his lap* when they, take it off, *shoves Keith's jacket down over his shoulders* when they take it off, everybody take it off~

Shiro: *turns to Allura for a moment with a chuckle* You can't wear a drunk text, I'll explain it later.

Allura: but the song said they had it on, that means they wear it, right?

Lance: lose your mind, lose it now, lose your clothes, in the crowd~ we're delirious, tear it down, till the sun comes back around~ *lets the track take over the chorus as he pulls Keith in for a quick kiss*

Shiro: like I said, I'll explain later ^_^'

Keith: *let's the kiss be quick, but gives a teasing nip to Lance's lower lip before he could pull back away*

Lance: *pulls off of Keith reluctantly to actually dance to the song, popping his hips to the right as he used his hands to run over his chest* ooooh~ oooooh~ ooooh~ take it off, right now, take it off, right now everybody take it off! *grins*

*at the end of the song Shiro could only chuckle*

Shiro: you sure you don't want us to leave and make this a private concert?

Lance: I wouldn't mind, but it depends, did I prove myself the dancer I claimed to be~ *grins*

Shiro: *laughs* Ten times over.

Hunk: and the queen still reigns supreme~ *grins*

Lance: Bitch, of course I do! *grinning*

Allura: I had no idea you were a queen of anything Lance, shouldn't it be king or something?

Lance: Nah, queen fits way better~

Shiro: I don't know of I'll be able to explain that one without making it more confusing. ^_^'

Hunk: So are we gonna move on to the next song or what?

Lance: that's on Keith~ *pops the two buttons keeping the vest closed off and lets it hang open against him, smirking*

Shiro: I wouldn't mind watching him squirm a little more *snickers*

Keith: I really don't think I can handle another song.

Lance: I'll tell you right now, I was tempted to add Candyman to the lineup, but thought you might /actually/ die of I did *snickers* so you dodged that bullet.

Keith: I'm already knocking on death's door here *gives half a chuckle*

Lance: *chuckles* then my objective was working~

Shiro: you're both welcome *snickers*

Keith: *flips him off* you should retire wingman Shiro, he's terrible. Stick to leader Shiro.

Shiro: Nah, wingman Shiro has way too much fun *smirks*

Pidge: so did operation nab a horny boyfriend actually work, or are you two just gonna fuck and make shit weird? *smirks*

Lance: I dunno, I'd prefer horny boyfriend, but that's kinda up to him~

Keith: *blushing bright red*

Shiro: *laughs and practically beats on Keith's back* he agrees. You might have broken him for a little bit, but he agrees.

Hunk: *laughing* Then I guess our work here is done

Pidge: awww but I wanted to watch him do Vanity and give Keith a nosebleed so bad we had to put him in the healing pod. *pouts*

Allura: that's not a nice thing to wish on your teammate.

Shiro: I don't think Keith would have minded princess *chuckles*

Pidge: when we rescue Matt, Lance, you two have to do a duet for your boyfriends to that one. Got it?

Lance: Roger little Green~ *grins*

Shiro: sounds like a good time to me. *smirks*

Hunk: Shiro, have you even heard the song we're talking about *raises a challenging brow with a smirk*

Shiro: It's not ringing any bells, no.

Hunk: then save that enthusiasm *smirks* it's a bumpy ride

Lance: excuse you Hunk, it's a /wet/ ride is what it is~ *snickers*

Shiro: *laughs* Like I told Keith before, If I got to watch Matt dancing around in that much skin-tight leather, I'd die a happy man.

Lance: aw~ honey, you'd die much more emotional than just happy~

Keith: *snaps out of his daze and surges up, grabbing Lance's wrist, pulling him out of the common room and to his own*

Shiro: *chuckles, watching them leave* Now I'd call that a successful day

Hunk: well, now I guess I can go take care of my little guy too, with maybe just a little new guilt. *chuckles*

Pidge: you go have fun with that.

Allura: ?

Hunk: no one's safe Pidge~ not even you. *smirks*

Coran: I am confused.

Shiro: *chuckles* don't worry about it.

Pidge: well I'm at least not advertising *crosses her arms*

Hunk: I am secure enough with myself and my sexuality to admit that yes, I did get a hard on from watching my best friend dance. *chuckles*

Allura: you humans have such a colorful way of expressing things. *smiles*

Pidge: still lost, huh?

Coran: undoubtedly. ^_^'

Shiro: *laughs* I'll explain in a bit, after I take care of my own problem anyways. *chuckles*

Hunk: he's also been called the Witch of Varadero beach on occasion *snickers*

Shiro: I don't doubt that at all *stands up & stretches his arms* anyways, I'll be back in a bit.

Hunk: you know, by straight homophobes with their heads up their asses *chuckles as he and Shiro leave*

Pidge: hmm, I think I'll just cool down in my lab for a bit. *leaves after the other two*

*Allura & Coran are left, puzzled at everyone's sudden exit & lack of explanation*

Coran: well, I suppose we should clean this mess up a bit ^_^

Allura: well, perhaps we could keep the stage ^_^' the others seemed to enjoy it after all.

Coran: yes, well at the very least we should probably sweep these shiny bits.

Allura: agreed


	4. Lance's Hips Don't Lie Pt 3

**Summary:**

And then somewhere along the way we spontaneously got feels and a sorta plot that wasn't just these two dorks trying to get together. Don't ask how. It made sense at the time.

* * *

 **Notes:**

If we ever pick this RP back up, I'll add to it, but for now, this is all we had before we stopped replying and ended up getting into a new one.

Also, all Spanish in this bit was put through Google Translate so I will stand by the fact that it is probably wrong, but my one year of high school Spanish forever the fuck ago was not going to help me here. If you feel so inclined to point out mistakes and want to give me proper translations I will change them as soon as I can.

* * *

*they set to work cleaning the area up the best they could, because glitter never fucking disappears*

*after a while Pidge comes back in with grease in her hair and all over her clothes*

Pidge: you guys could have just left that. I designed it to be heat soluble. It evaporates. Because glitter is a mess even back home, and we were anticipating upping the heat a bit more before the end.

Coran: really? How interesting.

Pidge: of course, we didn't have real glitter so I had to make it myself. And I was not going to fight with finding glitter in random places for a month.

Allura: so how long does it take to disappear?

Pidge: well if we up the temp in here to about sauna level, it'll disappear in about ten ticks

Coran: Isn't that convenient. Shall I go turn on the heat Princess?

Allura: might as well, just to get the rest up. *smiles* good thinking Pidge.

Pidge: *shrugs* I just really didn't want to go to war with glitter after this was all over.

Allura: it is very pretty, but does also get a bit … messy.

Pidge: you are still covered in it too *chuckles* if you don't want to track it everywhere maybe you should enjoy the heat flash too.

Allura: that would probably be for the best ^_^'

Coran: then I'll be back in a jiffy ^_^

Pidge: I can do it, Coran, you've got a little on you too.

Coran: alright, sounds good to me ^_^

Pidge: we'll have enough floating around because of the guys anyways *mutters as she leaves the room for a second to mess with the thermostat outside the door*

Coran: Lance & Keith were both pretty covered in it ^_^'

Pidge: *through the door* don't worry about them, I'm sure they'll work up a sweat enough to get rid of it *snickers*

Allura: what would they be doing to cause that?

Pidge: they're fucking obviously.

Coran: you all use this word "fuck" in so many different ways, what does this way mean?

Pidge: they're having sex. -_-

Allura: ah, I see … were they not doing that before?

Pidge: No. They were both being pansies about it even though the tension was already there.

Allura: I could have sworn by the way they acted …

Pidge: yeah, no. But now we're gonna have to brace ourselves for the cavity inducing beginning of a relationship.

Coran: well, I suppose we can worry less about the silly teasing and flirting then?

Pidge: No, that will only intensify.

Coran: is that possible?

Pidge: For them? Probably.

Allura: *sighs* goodness.

Pidge: yup.

*the heat begins to kick in*

*after a few ticks*

*all the glitter starts to evaporate*

Allura: quite fascinating

Pidge: Hunk and I both thought it'd be a good idea for easy cleanup

Coran: it is very much appreciated, we were having a few difficulties cleaning it before you arrived

*heat turns off*

Pidge: Yeah. Glitter is a bitch to clean. *sighs & plops down on the couch* what to work on now ... Man I miss T.V. -_-

Hunk: *comes back in a bit later, freshly showered and squeaky clean* oh hey, the glitter mess is gone. So it worked then?

Pidge: better than we hoped

Hunk: sweet!

Pidge: now the question is, what to work on next

Hunk: well, should we keep the stage or dismantle it?

Coran: are we able to simply move it to another room? Lance seemed to really enjoy having it after all. ^_^

Hunk: which room would we move it to?

Coran: how about the second floor observation deck?

Hunk: *shrugs* I'm game. What about you Pidge?

Pidge: *shrugs* sure, why not.

Hunk: let's get on it then ^_^

*the two set to work moving the stage*

*not much longer, Shiro walks back in, all showered as well*

Shiro: you guys need a hand?

Pidge: I think Allura and Coran need more help than Hunk and I do. *smirks* we built it without you, we can take it down without ya' boss man.

Shiro: *shrugs & turns to the other duo*

Hunk: I do want to watch though, so you should explain while we work *sniggers*

Allura: *looks to Shiro expectantly, smiling*

Shiro: *shrugs* alright, what do you want me to explain first? You had a few questions.

Allura: how about in general for a few of those songs first. I feel like they would be more enjoyable if we knew what they were singing about.

Pidge: *snorts, trying to hold back laughter*

Shiro:well the 1st one is more or less about a partner feeling neglected. Like their significant other wasn't sexually taking care of them enough & they hunger for it.

Allura: so they went to find someone else then?

Shiro: that's essentially the second half of the song. She's going out to find another lay that she may or may not tell their partner about later. *shrugs*

Coran: lay?

Pidge: same as fuck in this case.

Allura: ah, I see … is she still with the other person?

Coran: and what is the point of the wolf part?

Shiro: she sees herself as a predator and a new man as prey. *shrugs*

Allura: hmm ... And what of the second song?

Shiro: Toxic, well, it's more a one night stand song, she admits that the guy she's interested in is bad for her, toxic, but she can't help but find him alluring. She feels she needs him and it's just her trying to seduce him pretty much.

Coran: one night stand?

Shiro: when you have sex with a person just for the sex that night.

Allura: *furrows her brow* are all of these songs about sex?

Hunk: pretty much. Lance was trying to tease Keith. *shrugs*

Shiro: which worked out really well

Pidge: too well, he didn't even get to finish. He had Prima Donna, Vanity, and For Your Entertainment left

Hunk: and if I had you. Personally I love that one. ^_^

Pidge: really, anything by adam lambert is gold.

Shiro: *nods* seconded. *grins*

Pidge: ah, Matt trained you well~ *snickers*

Shiro: I didn't need much help on that one *chuckles*

Pidge: *laughs* good.

Coran: so that was why Lance was all over Keith while he was dancing. *strokes his stache*

Allura: I am still curious though, there were a few odd phrases in that rude song that didn't quite make sense.

Shiro: such as?

Allura: well for one, what is she asking this "rude boy" if he can get "up"? Or if it is hard?

Shiro: *chuckles* she's asking about his dick and if if's erect.

Pidge: which, Keith's definitely was *snickers*

Shiro: *shrugs* I don't blame him.

Hunk: of course not, when Lance dances, he's a boner magnet. Like, his teacher used to have him do private shows when she needed investors *snickers*

Shiro: that sounds really sketchy. _

Hunk: no, like, just for a group of investors, not one on one, that'd be super sketch.

Shiro: that sounds better.

Pidge: I bet the instructor hated when he went off to the garrison then.

Hunk: yeah there were tears. Both her and Lance. While he loves flying, dancing is his passion *shrugs*

Shiro: then why didn't he decide to continue pursuing dance? Unless he wants to do both at some point.

Hunk: his dad pushed for the garrison. Lance said he thought it was too feminine. *shrugs* he'll probably go back to dance when we go back to Earth.

Shiro: Whatever he does, it should be what he wants to do.

Hunk: if he hadn't gone to the garrison he wouldn't be here though. None of us would. Blue picked him and Blue was on Earth in the desert, not in Varadero.

Shiro: *nods* when we get back he should be able to do what he wants though.

Hunk: *shrugs* I'm sure his dad won't care anymore after they've probably been told he's dead for however long it takes us.

Shiro: *nods* From what Keith told me, I wouldn't be surprised.

Pidge: … my mom is probably not doing too well. _

Shiro: *frowns* yeah. Another reason to take down Zarkon as quickly as we can.

Allura: did you not tell your families where you were going?

Hunk: ... no? It happened kinda fast, and we were at a military boarding school.

Pidge: we weren't exactly expecting to be whisked away to another galaxy.

Allura: I see ... well, maybe the castle could boost your communication devices that you brought to inform them?

Shiro: you could do that?

Allura: well, I'm not 100% certain it's compatible, but we could try

Hunk: alright, let's try it. We should wait for Lance & keith though if we get it working.

Shiro: after moving the stage. ^_^

Hunk: works for me

Shiro: *a couple hours later after the stage is moved, knocks on Keith's door* guys, you still alive in there?

Keith: *after a few seconds* Kinda

Shiro: well, if you guys are able to actually move at all, Allura and Pidge have been working on a way to contact Earth so we can tell our families we're actually alive and not dead in the desert.

Keith: No one for me to really contact. Lance?

Lance: gimme a minute. I'll be a lot better at running to the bridge when I can feel my legs again.

Shiro: *laughs* okay. I'll let them know you'll be there in a bit.

Lance: if you have to, have Hunk call my mom … actually no, that's a bad idea, never mind. Don't do that.

*shuffling sounds are heard then a thud as Lance falls off the bed*

Shiro: you should be the one to call them. You okay?

Lance: just peachy keen in here. *groans* and yeah, I know.

Keith: need some help? *snickers, teasing*

Lance: only a little. _

Keith: alright. We'll be there in a bit Shiro

Lance: oh boy. This is going to be a mess … _

Keith: yeah. It is. _

Lance: ... I hope Sophie's not home when I call _ I don't need her nagging.

Keith: They'll probably just be happy you're not dead.

Lance: oh, yeah, sure. There's that. But well, Soph is ... *makes a face* nosey. And a doctor. So she's extra nosey. About everything. *huffs, sitting up and trying to stand again*

Keith: *chuckles* maybe we should hit the showers real quick. We're both a mess.

Lance: yeah, probably…

Keith: *grabs some clothes at random, pulls them on & grabs a towel*

Lance: *wipes off with Keith's old shirt and wears a towel to the bathroom*

*they both get cleaned up, changed, & head to the com room*

Hunk: hey guys~ *smirks* so, Lance, are you two an official thing now or is there a trial period?

Lance: we'd better be a thing after that. *smirks*

Keith: do you /usually/ have a trial period? *confused*

Lance: most of the time, yeah, but then again, I'm not usually sucking their dick before the first date either, so, you're special babe. *smirks*

Keith: _ *blushes*

Pidge: okay, I'm about to call my mom, no sex talk while she's on the line, please!

Keith: Tell that to Lance.

Pidge: I'm telling both of you!

Lance: ... is this gonna count as long distance? Those fees are going to be outrageous.

Shiro: think we'd be able to connect through internet and do video calls?

Pidge: maybe? *tweaks the frequency, watching her phone*

Hunk: yeah, that way we wouldn't have to worry about our folks getting billed ridiculously high

Lance: congrats! Your kids are alive! But also, have this bill for $3000 for a call that lasted 5 minutes from the asscrack of nowhere!

Pidge; alright I got it, now shut up. I'm calling my mom.

Mrs. Holt: *picks up* Katie?! Is that really you?!

Pidge: Mom! Awesome, it worked. *grins*

Mrs. Holt: KATIE! BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?! ARE YOU OKAY?!

Pidge: I'm fine mom. And look! Shiro is here too! *smiles & pulls him over*

Mrs. Holt: Takashi? *breaths out a sigh of relief* honey, I'm so glad you're alive and well! What about Mat and Samuel?

Shiro: *frowns* I'm sorry Janice, we're still looking for them, but I promise you I'm doing everything I can to keep Katie safe.

Mrs. Holt: oh, it lightens my heart to at least see the two of you. What happened? Where are you?

Shiro: we're in space … um, not really sure where would be of much use since it's farther than most of our vessels from Earth can go …

Pidge: did a video ever go viral of a blue lion looking thing flying around in the desert?

Mrs. Holt: um, I think there was something about it on the news.

Pidge: okay, that was us. That's a ship, specifically, Lance's ship. It chose him, don't question that, you won't understand. Um, the other garrison kids, plus Keith, I dunno if they said anything about him or not, are all fine too. We're all together.

Mrs. Holt: that would make sense, but how did Takashi end up being there?

Pidge: he ended up crash landing back on Earth in a stolen escape pod, we found him, busted him out of a government med tent and he came with us back into space.

Mrs. Holt: *sighs* at least you're both okay. *her eyes start tearing up* I-I thought I lost everyone.

Pidge: yeah, sorry it took so long to call, finding wifi in space is a bitch *smiles*

Shrio: I promise I will take care of her *smiles*

Mrs. Holt: you better Takashi. *smiles* find my boys and bring my family home. I love you both Honey.

Pidge: love you too mom

Shiro: Love you ^_^

Mrs. Holt: I expect more contact from now on though, okay? From both of you. *teary eyed smile*

Shiro: we'll do our best *smiles*

Pidge: anyway mom, I just wanted you to know I'm alive and out here, I don't know when I'll be coming home, but so help me, I will have dad and Matt when I do.

Mrs. Holt: Baby, I'm just so happy that you're okay. Call me again when you can okay?

Pidge: OH! One last thing! If fuzzy purple alien bat cat bastards show up, shoot on sight!

Mrs. Holt: Um, okay?

Pidge: I love you! *waves as she hangs up the video call*

Shiro: alright, so who's next, Hunk? Lance?

Lance: I nominate Hunk.

Hunk: works for me

Lance: tell your mom I love her too ^_^

Hunk: bro, you act like she's not going to outright demand to see you too *chuckles as he connects his phone*

Lance: *laughs* you're right

Keith: you guys are that close?

Lance: sure. Mrs. Garrett is like my second mom. In fact, I should totally introduce you to her as my boyfriend! ^_^ she'll instantly love you, more than she already would have *chuckles*

Keith: okay ^_^'

Lance: it'll be a sort of dry run for my real mom ^_^'

Hunk: & she'd be elated ^_^

Keith: ... are you sure?

Lance: why wouldn't she be happy?

Keith: *shrugs* I couldn't tell you. I don't know her.

Hunk: don't worry dude, she's only ever disliked one of Lance's Exs, and it turned out, she was a skank anyway, so you're fine.

Lance: I didn't even ask her out, Mila set me up with her. *huffs* but you're right. She was a skank. _

Allura: a what?

Shiro: Trashy, unloyal, unhygienic, bitchy, there are a few definitions.

Pidge: not a good thing to get called.

Allura: ^_^' I see

Shiro: she must have been pretty bad for Hunk to call her that first.

Lance: she tried to cheat on me with Hunk. Obvs we called her ass out on it.

Keith: that's pretty shitty.

Lance: yeah, it was bad.

Shiro: *chuckles* okay, enough stalling. Go ahead and call

Hunk: *presses the call button*

Hmom: HUNK!? ¡Mi bebé! ¡estas vivo! ¡¿Dónde estás?! ¿¡Que pasó!? ¡Todos nos dijeron que usted murió! *crying tears of joy*

(my baby! you're alive! where are you?! What happened!? We all were told that you died!)

Hunk: *laughs* hey mom, nope, still alive and kicking! Even Lance, *shows his screen to Lance so she can see him and Keith* and this is Keith, Lance's very new, like, a few hours ago, boyfriend. *chuckles as Lance splutters a bit*

Lance: Hola Mamá! Hunk! Why would you do that?!

Hunk: because you were gonna beat around the bush obviously. *snickers*

keith: ^_^'

Hmom: Oh I'm so relieved you boys are okay! *tears streaming down her face* where are you, what happened?!

Hunk: *turns the phone back around to face him* we're kinda in deep space, helping fight an intergalactic war to save the universe with an awesome alien gundam.

Lance: *calls over Hunk's shoulder* I know it sounds crazy, but it's true!

Hmom: Please don't play games with me boys. Really, what happened? Why did those men from the Garrison come here and tell me that you died?!

Lance: it's true!

Hunk: here, I'll prove it, this is Allura and Coran, they're aliens from planet Altea, like, the last one alive even, this is who we're helping. *shows the phone to Allura and Coran*

*they both wave*

: honey, you can't fool me with silly lord of the rings elf cosplays. *crosses her arms*

Pidge: ... damn ... Hunk, your mom is pretty hip

Hunk: Mom, they aren't cosplaying!

Lance: show her space!

Hunk: Right! *reverses the camera and shows off the windows from the com. room*

Lance: see, totes tellin' the truth!

Hmom: and that could all just be green screen. Baby where are you. I'mma go pick you and Lance up right now.

Hunk: mom! I can't do green screen on my phone! This is a live facebook call! I can't do anything fancy. This is all real, we're in space, fighting another alien race called the Galra that look like giant fuzzy purple bat cats. Look, they replaced Shiro's arm and now it can glow and cut through stuff. *shows his phone to Shiro* Shiro, show her!

Shiro: uhh, oh .. kay *activates his arm*

Lance: I promise Mamá, we're not making this up, I swear on my honor!

Hmom: Well then how in the world did you get there!?

Pidge: *scoffs* Lance has honor? *snickers*

Lance: *flips her off behind his back*

Hunk: did you see the flying blue lion near the garrison on the news?

Hmom: Of course I did, they wouldn't stop running it for over a week

Hunk: well it was a spaceship, and it took us through a wormhole and here we are.

Hmom: Hunk dear, how do you expect me to believe something so ridiculous!

Hunk: I know it is mom, but I promise, it's the truth! Do I look like I'm lying?

Lance: look, us, and Pidge, the third membet of our group are here, Shiro was on the Kerberos mission and everyone thought he died but he didn't plus Keith is here too, what else could it be /but/ the truth?

Hmom: ... *takes a deep breath* Lance, does your mother know where you are?

Hunk: he's calling her as soon as I hang up with you mom *smiles*

Hmom: Good. Because I'm gonna head over there myself right now. we can continue this in a minute. *smiles*

Lance: ... actually, if you could wait on that for just a little bit, that'd be great ... ^_^'

Hmom: You sure baby?

Lance: yeah. I just don't know if Papá or Sophia are home and you know how they are with surprises

Hunk: oh yeah ... they are a bit extreme, huh?

Lance: that the easy way to put it. *chuckles* just wait like, a half hour before going over, it should have blown over by then. And we'll message you when I hang up.

Hunk: or when it's less crazy ^_^'

Hmom: Okay, but only if you're sure.

Lance: I'm sure ^_^

Keith: *furrows his brow* should we leave you alone to call your mom?

Lance: what? No. No, it's fine. Don't worry. ^_^'

Keith: you sound kinda hesitant…

Lance: It will probably be fine, eventually ^_^'

Hmom: baby, you know your family loves you, they'll just be happy you're alive and well. *blows kisses at the phone* I love both of you my babies! Come home soon!

Hunk: Uh, we'll try but there's really no telling how long it will be before we get back.

Lance: if you see fuzzy purple aliens, act like it's el chupacabra!

Hmom: If you say so ^_^'

Hunk: we insist

Hmom: Okay. Call me later Baby. You should really get to calling Lance's parents. *smiles* I love you both.

*they both wave to her and say their goodbyes as Lance pulls out his phone*

Shiro: Lance, if you want, the rest of us can-

Lance: no. No, it's fine. *presses the call button a little too hurriedly, having already connected it while Hunk was finishing up his "I loved you"s*

*it rings for a good 10-15 seconds before anyone picks up*

Lance: *chuckles nervously* Hey mamá, ... Ha sido un tiempo, ¿eh? _

(hey mom, ... It's been awhile, huh?)

Lmom: Lance? ¿mi amor? ¿eres realmente tú? ... dijeron que estabas muerto.

(my Love? is that really you? ... they said you were dead.)

Lance: Sí, no sé si saben lo que realmente nos pasó. Pero estoy bien, un poco ...

(yeah, I don't know if they even know what really happened to us. But I'm okay, kind of ...)

Lmom: *teary eyed* ¿Dónde estás? ¿estás a salvo?

(where are you? are you safe?)

Lance: En algún lugar del espacio, no sé exactamente dónde, ya que está fuera de nuestra galaxia, pero estoy haciendo lo mejor que puedo ... ¿Cómo están todos los demás?

(Somewhere in space, I don't really know exactly where since it's out of our galaxy, but I'm doing as well as I can... How is everyone else doing?)

Lmom: Sophie estaba preocupada ... pensó que tal vez tu medicamento acabara y eso fue lo que pasó. Ella se culpaba cuando nunca teníamos detalles. Los niños lloraron durante toda una semana. Sus hermanos mayores están todavía de luto.

(Sophie was worried ... she thought that maybe your medication ran out and that's what happened. she blamed herself when we never got any details. the little ones cried for a whole week. your older siblings are still in mourning.)

Lance: No, todavía me quedan algunos a la izquierda, aunque no creo que podré conseguir una recarga cuando realmente se agoten ya que no tengo ni idea de cuánto tiempo será hasta que podamos volver. Ya llamamos a la mamá de Hunk, así que probablemente se vaya a hablar un rato para hablar con todos.

(No, I still have some left, though I don't think I'll be able to get a refill when they really do run out since I have no clue how long it will be until we can go back. We already called Hunk's mom, so she will probably go over in a little while to talk to everyone.)

Hunk: *furrows his brow* Lance, since when-

Lance: *shakes his head* later.

Lmom: *nods* it'll be nice to see her again. It's been a while. Tu papá regrets making you go. ... he'll be happy to know you're at least alive. ... *sniffs , a smile forming on her lips* Mi bebe ha regresado a mi

(My baby has come back to me)

Lance: *gives a small smile* No quería irme.

(I didn't mean to leave)

Keith: ... *grabs Lance's hand* Lance, are you okay?

Lance: *crying a bit* ya' know mullet head, I have definitely been better before. *squeezes his hand tight, taking a deep breath*

Lmom: Oh, everyone will be so happy to know you are alive Mi bebé. *still crying a bit as well* tu papá is still at work, but please call us again soon. I am sure he will want to talk to you too.

Lance: ah, Mamá, before that though, *pulls Keith close* Este es Keith. Keith es mi nuevo novio. ... ¿el papá todavía va a estar molesto? *nervous tone*

(This is Keith. Keith is my new boyfriend. ... is dad still going to be upset?)

Lmom: Mi bebé, él estará tan feliz de que estás vivo, no hay manera de que él se enojaría contigo! No tienes idea de cuánto se culpa a sí mismo.

(My baby, he will be so happy that you are alive, there is no way that he would be mad at you! You have no idea how much he blames himself.)

Lance: *rolls his eyes* somehow I doubt that. Mamá. Me envió a la guarnición porque no quiere tratar conmigo. Escuchaste lo que dijo cuando envió mi papeleo.

(mom. He sent me to the garrison because he does not want to deal with me. You heard what he said when he sent in my paperwork.)

Hunk: Lance. I think you should switch back to English.

Lance: I'd rather not. _

Lmom: Tu padre te ama No siempre está seguro de cómo hacer lo correcto. Es humano, comete errores. Todos lo hacemos.

(your father loves you. He's just not always sure how to do the right thing. He is human, he makes mistakes. We all do.)

Keith: *frowns* Lance, what are you talking about? I don't speak any spanish other than "no habla Espanol" So please, English.

Lance: *shakes his head* I'd really rather not.

Hunk: Lance. *hands on his hips, giving him the disappointed mom stare*

Lance: Stare all you want Hunk. It's not gonna work. _

Hunk: *stares harder* don't make me get Shiro in on this!

Lance: fine! *looks back to his mom* I hate you for teaching him that stare. _

Lmom: Hate me all you want, I'm just still so happy that you are alive.

Keith: um, mrs. McClain, ma'am I don't really know what I'm doing here, but, I feel like I should promise you that I'll keep Lance safe. *smiles crookedly*

Lance: you keep me safe? Have you met you? *incredulous*

Keith: Keeping me safe and keeping you safe are two different things. ^_^'

Lmom: thank you sweetie *smiles to Keith* I like this one honey, he's polite, unlike that last boy you introduced me to *chuckles*

Lance: hey! Jared was sweet, he just didn't know how to talk to you! Besides you scared him off when you went on that huge rant about the family tree. _

Pidge: Family tree rant?

Lance: no. Mom, I will hang up on you if you start that again.

Pidge: but now I'm curious.

Hunk: is that why he broke up with you after only a month?

Lance: mostly. *shrugs*

Hunk: that's a stupid reason. _

Lance: nah, I completely understood. It was like, an hour solid of just my mom's side of the family.

Lmom: I thought you said he left because he saw you take your medications and thought you were trying to overdose.

Lance: _ ... _ yeah. That too *pretty much given up on playing it off anymore* even though he was wrong and wouldn't listen when I said otherwise. -_-

Shiro: ... What kind of medications?

Lance: you know, that's really not important. I mean, it was Freshman year, I don't even remember half the shit I was on at the time ... _ let's just drop it, okay? Okay. Love you mom! As always /great/ talkin' to ya' I'm alive, let everyone know yadda yadda *hangs up and pulls away from Keith, trying to leave the bridge as fast as he can*

Hunk: Lance, come on man *follows after*

Lance: nope.

Hunk: At least talk about it with me.

Lance: I'd rather not.

Hunk: I know what you'd /rather/ do, I'm saying you should talk to me about it anyways.

Lance: nope. I'm good, seriously. *speed walks away*

Keith: *looks to Shiro* what do we do with this information? He obviously won't tell us if he won't even talk to Hunk about it.

Coran: nothing seemed out of the ordinary when we scanned him compared to when we scanned you lot.

*Hunk continues to follow Lance, not letting him get out of it*

Shiro: That would depend on what he needs meds for. Not all problems are physical.

Allura: it sounds like a touchy subject ... is it normal to hide things like this on Earth?

Shiro: Most people don't broadcast things like that. It wouldn't be unusual for them to have some sort of support group, but it looks like Lance has been keeping it all to himself. And from Hunk's reaction, I'm lead to believe that that's not a good thing.

Keith: ... I'm gonna go after him too *takes off after Hunk*

Pidge: it sounds like he's been on a lot of different stuff, which either means the diagnosis is changing, he's building an immunity, or some stuff isn't working and he has to try alternatives …

Shiro: *sighs* I hope between the two of them he can be helped for now. I'll talk to him myself in a little while. We don't want to suffocate him.

Pidge: especially depending on what he's medicating against. The only thing that make sense for a cocktail of pills like that is some sort of mental illness.

Shiro: *nods* It's not a pleasant thing to deal with.

Keith: *running after them* Lance! Wait!

Lance: I'm not talking to either of you! *gets to his room and slams the door shut*

Keith: Lance, we won't judge you, we just want you to let us in.

Hunk: dude, you said so yourself, you don't know what'll happen when you run out. ... how low are you?

Lance: I don't need you guys on my case about it! Please just leave me alone!

Hunk: Lance. You never keep secrets from me. Why now?

Lance: I don't need anyone worrying about me.

Keith: too late.

Lance: You don't need to know how messed up I am. Just leave. I'm better off dealing with it on my own.

Hunk: bro, you've got us here to help. All of us. We don't care what's going on, we just want to help make sure you're okay.

Lance: I don't want your help!

Hunk: at least tell me how long you've been keeping this from me. *frowns*

Lance: Long enough to where I figure I can deal with it myself.

Keith: what about me? We're dating aren't we? Don't I deserve to know so I can help you?

Lance: We /just/ got together today! I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to just call the whole thing off. I'm not worth it.

Keith: you bastard, do you know how long I've had a goddamn crush on you? Long enough that I don't care if it's goddamn leprosy that you're medicating against! Just let me help!

Lance: Just leave me alone!

Keith: I'm not leaving until you let me help. *sits down next to the door*

Hunk: I'll go get Coran to o override this door if you don't let us in.

Lance: *groans* Why can't I just be left alone!?

Keith: because we love you asshole. *glaring at the door*

Lance: You don't have to, stupid mullet head.

Keith: I don't really think that's my call to make anymore sharpshooter. *sighs and bangs his head into the door* if we hadn't found out like this, would you have ever told us? ... told me?

Lance: ... Probably not.

Hunk: not even after you ran out of your meds?

Lance: I think at that point it'd be pretty evident anyways. We would have had our fun and he would have dumped me when he found out anyways. I'm not a relationship worth perusing. I'm the temporary one you have until you realize how batshit I am. That's how it always goes. Why would this time be any damn different?

Hunk: Lance, none of your ex's have ever had anything bad to say about you, and I think that says a lot.

Keith: look, I'm pretty shit at the whole thing myself. Truth be told, this is my first actual relationship. I mean, yeah, I've fucked around a bit, but this is the first time I've dated anyone, like hell I'm going to give up on ot so easily.

Lance: Well then you picked a pretty shitty person to be with. _

Keith: no, I picked the really cute second on the class pilot from the Garrison. I picked the really funny and sassy, sometimes goofy Blue Paladin of Voltron. I picked the fucking heart of this goddamn team. Who the fuck do you think I was trying so hard to show off to back then? Granted, it didn't really work out the way I had hoped it would. But we still got together on the end.

Lance: That was before you knew what I'm really like.

Keith: then I'll pick whatever crazy person is under all that medication, just, please let me in.

Lance: ... I don't want to. *almost a whisper*

Keith: pleeease, Lance. I want to hug you and kiss you and tell you it's all okay to your stupid pretty face.

Lance: I don't deserve it.

Hunk: Lance, if you don't open this door in 10 seconds, I /will/ get Coran to override it.

*they hear a lot of shuffling around and a little bit of cursing and the swoosh of another door before the door opens up again* I'm not telling you anything. Either of you.

Hunk: Lance, please just let us help.  
*the two walk in*

Lance: no. I don't need help, I'm fine.

Hunk: You're obviously not.

Lance: no, I am, I just don't want you guys nosing around in my business.

Hunk: Bro, we're a team. We have no secret business. I get that you don't want everyone always checking up on you, but you should at /least/ have one other person to help you deal with this.

Lance: neither of you even know what "this" is! FYI, "this" is me. *crosses his arms*

Keith: Yeah, but you should still talk to someone about whatever is going on.

Lance: remember when I said I hoped Sophie wasn't home? This was exactly why. Normally she's the only one talking about my meds. Silly me thinking my mom would leave it alone! I should have let her think I was still dead!

Keith: ... *goes over & hugs him* You wanna be mad about this, fine, throw a fit, be pissed off. Fuck, go ahead and throw a punch if that's what you need to do. But keeping her in the dark like that would have been cruel and you know it. You did the right thing by calling her, whether the outcome was favorable for you or not.

Lance: I just, don't want you all to treat me differently. _ you guys never gave a fuck when you didn't know, nothing's changed.

Keith: I don't plan to act differently if I don't have to. To tell you the truth, I'm total shit at dealing with this kind of thing. Just talk to me if you need to. I can keep my stupid mouth shut if you need to rant. I want to support you, not strangle you.

Hunk: you know, if you tell us what you're on, Coran and Pidge could probably make you more medicine. You don't have to worry about the effects of suddenly stopping, which, could make whatever it is you're treating worse because of the drastic change in your body.

Lance: ... *not really sure how to respond to either of them*

Hunk: *goes over and hugs Lance* we just want you to be okay, and whatever that takes from us, we're glad to give you.

Keith: Just please don't bottle it all up & let it fester.

Lance: wow, you know me so well already, and it's only been one afternoon _

Keith: I've lost a lot of people in life. I'm trying to make it stop. I just got you. I'm not gonna lose you that damn quick, alright? _

Lance: oh boy. Welp, then we better get home in like a month, so I can restock. _

Hunk: Lance, I just told you, we can probably make more here.

Lance: and if you can't?

Hunk: then we'll figure out what to do from there.

Lance: *frown* fine. *gets up and walks over to a hidden drawer in the wall and pulls out a week long pill organizer, dumping out the Sunday box into his hand and putting the organizer back* you guys get one batch to try and copy them. If it doesn't work oh well. I can't spare any more than that right now _

Hunk: Thank you Lance. *smiles & gives him another hug*

Lance: just ... no trying to figure out the diagnosis from the prescription, okay? I really don't like people knowing. Hell, most of my siblings don't even know. Just mom, dad, Soph, and Mila. *hands over the 5 different pills to Hunk*

Hunk: Okay. We will only try to recreate them. Nothing more. *takes them*

Lance: make Pidge swear on her father's life. I don't care what you have to do, I don't want her being nosey about this.

Hunk: *Nods, trying to give a reassuring smile* you can count on me bro.

Lance: *huffs* yeah yeah _ *pulls another bottle out of his pocket and pops a pill* ... make more of these too. These are just for stress. Honestly, we all could probably use 'em. *hands over the bottle*

Hunk: *nods* alright.

Keith: ... you just have those in your pocket?

Lance: I had a doctor's note back at the garrison. All my shit was always on me. Why the hell else would I have a huge ass coat with pockets for days?

Keith: because it's comfortable?

Lance: no because there is literally a pocket for every pill bottle. _

Keith: *sighs* well, then at least you have something that helps. And hopefully they can recreate everything for you.

Lance: you know, at this point, I would not be surprised if my blood was more chemicals and artificial hormones than the natural shit that's supposed to be there.

Keith: Unfortunately for some people, it's a necessary thing.

Lance: yup, welcome to hell, 'cuz you're dating one of 'em *flops backwards, down on his bed*

Keith: *shrugs & sits on the end of the bed*

Lance: heads up, even with the meds it gets bad sometime. If you're seriously in this, you're in it for everything. Not just the sunshine and rainbows part, got it?

Keith: I wouldn't expect any less.

Lance: *lets out a shaky breath* okay.

Keith: *sighs, leaning back against the wall* I just hope I'll be good enough.

Lance: *scoffs* just keep me away from cliffs and you'll be doing great. _

Keith: I'll make a mental note.

Lance: *looks up, noticing Hunk has left then let's his head fall back down* how long do you expect us to be together Keith?

Keith: I don't know. For as long as we're both willing to try to make this work? I never had an actual boyfriend. I was always afraid whatever curse was inflicted upon me would rub off. _

Lance: and what would be the red flag that makes you say no? Where along the way would you stop trying?

Keith: ... I'm not sure exactly. Maybe if after some time passes, you decide that you really hated me. Not just in the moment hatred, but really truly wanted nothing more to do with me, I would let you go. I'm going to warn you though, I'm a persistent bastard. I don't easily let people go.

Lance: *chuckles* what if I tell you to let me go? What if I say stupid hurtful stuff just so you'll get mad at me, what if I try and drive you off? Off these pills, I say a lot of things I don't mean, even if I think I do at the time.

Keith: *shakes his head with a smile* go ahead, like I said, I'm persistent. I'll probably do and say a bunch of stupid shit that I don't mean at some point to, but that's part of being human. Sometimes you just fuck up.

Lance: yeah, but that's really just all I am, a fuck up. That's how I ended up at the Garrison, that's how I ended up here, because I fucked up. What? My kid is mentally unstable and bi? Nah. What? A son of mine wants to pursue dance as a career? No can do buckaroo, off to military school to straighten you out and fix up your head, get a real man's career, you like flying, go fly! What? Just second in the class? Try harder, I'm sure you're just slacking because you don't actually want to be there, aim for the top! McClain men don't settle. *scowls and mutters* fuck him.

Keith: none of that is actually your fault. _

Lance: try telling that to my dad.

Keith: Doesn't matter. You're 18, you can do whatever the fuck you want. When we get back to earth, if you wanna dance, then dance. You like both chicks & dudes? I'll probably get jealous, but I'm not gonna say you can't be attracted to someone else, & whatever you might need medically, I'm sure we can figure that out. *shrugs* when we get back to earth you won't be at the mercy of your father.

Lance: you're forgetting one very important detail, if we show back up on Earth, we will be on every government wanted list ever, pretty damn near the top too. And then all we'll have to look forward to are cells, tests and interrogations. Or if we escape, life on the run. Yay. -_-

Keith: I wonder if there'd be a way to land and avoid that whole fiasco…

Lance: you mean other than secretly land and live like fugitives? Plastic surgery and new names? Nah. Won't work.

Keith: *shrugs* for now I'd rather focus on fighting Zarkon. He's problem enough.

Lance: true, we don't even know if we'll survive fighting him off. Maybe we won't have to worry about landing back on Earth and dodging the government. _

Keith: Yeah. I hope we do beat him though.

Lance: *sighs* yeah. Me too.

~later~

Hunk: *goes back to the bridge looking for Pidge and Coran, having put the pills in a little cup to keep them safe*

Pidge: *notices hunk walking in* so, what's going on?

Hunk: Well, he won't talk to us about what it is, but I did get him to agree to let us try and reverse engineer some more meds for him for when he runs out. Think you and Coran can do that?

Pidge: *shrugs* we can give it a shot. What's he taking?

Hunk: *holds up the cup* oh, but you have to promise not to figure out the diagnosis.

Pidge: ... it would be easier if we knew what we were trying to combat.

Hunk: I know. But that was his condition for letting us help... Oh yeah, and he said these ones are for stress. *walks over & hands her the bottle*

Pidge: *sighs* fine. *takes the bottle* how many other medications is he on?

Hunk: He told me to make you promise *holding the cup away from her*

Pidge: ... I promise _

Hunk: seriously promise. If you break his trust on this, something worse might happen.

Pidge: *sighs* fine. If I really need to know in order to make this work, I'll go ask him instead of figuring out what it is for myself.

Hunk: his actual words were make you swear on your dad's life. So, I think he wants a little more sincarity than this. *frowns at her*

Pidge: Oh my gosh Hunk, I promise, okay?

Shiro: both of you, stop. Hunk, she promised, so she won't do any more than asked of her. Pidge, that also means no loop holes. No trying to convince Coran to find out what they are or what they could treat either. Okay?

Pidge: yeah, yeah, I get it.

Hunk: okay... *hands over the little cup* he said that's all he can spare, so I hope one sample of each will be enough.

Pidge: we'll see what we can do.

Hunk: also, can we kinda pretend it didn't happen for a while? He's really upset that it got out. He's still the same Lance, we just know a bit more about him now.

Coran: That's understandable.

Hunk: *smiles* thanks

Shiro: is he talking to you at least?

Hunk: *frowns* no. But it sounds like Keith is getting through to him ...

Pidge: guess they hooked up at just the right time then. _

Hunk: or we called home at a fortunate time. _

Shiro: at least he's talking to someone now though.

Hunk: Keith told him he didn't care what he was treating. *snickers* he said even of it were leprosy he wasn't going anywhere.

Pidge: well that's not intense *snickers as well*

Hunk: pretty sure we'd know of it were leprosy.

Shiro: ... he always has had a flare for the dramatic '

Pidge: *shrugs* How long have you known Keith anyways Shiro? I mean, you did talk about him before all this happened, but until it did only Matt had met him. _

Shiro: quite some time, my family fostered him until he was old enough to go to the Garrison. He's not very social though, and meeting new people stressed him out a lot so it was hard even getting him to meet with Matt.

Hunk: Wow, it really just dawned on me how much we really don't know eachother. I mean, yeah, we know eachother, but as far as past experiences go? We know zip.

Pidge: what about you, how long have you known Lance and /not/ known about all this? your mom thinks of his as a second child and and yet he doesn't share his biggest secret with you?

Hunk: Believe me, I'm more than a little hurt that he kept it from me all this time, but I'm not gonna let it ruin things.

Coran: come along Pidge, why don't we start analyzing those so we can get them done sooner *grins, not wanting a new argument so soon after the first one was blowing over*

Pidge: *sighs* Yeah, alright.

Shiro: we'll work on furthering our bonds later, right now, it's important to let Lance know we still love him /and/ respect his privacy.

Hunk: For now I think we just need to leave him and Keith alone ... _

Shiro: we can do that. *smiles*

Allura: *watching the group disperse* I hope Coran and Pidge can synthesize some new medicine for him.

Shiro: *nods* yeah, if not, I don't know what will happen. we don't know what he needs them for.

Allura: depending on what it is, he might be able to take some Altean medications

Shiro: except we have no idea how they would affect a human. Plus, everyone is a little different. we should avoid using him as a guinea pig.

Allura: *sighs* of course.

Shiro: *sighs* anyways, I'm gonna go take a break and talk to Black.

Allura: *nods* I think I will just retire for the evening until supper.

Shiro: see you then. *walks off towards his lion's hanger*

Hunk: I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me _ *leaves the bridge as well, Allura leaving just behind him for her room*

~ with Pidge & Coran ~

Pidge: So, what kind of pharmaceutical tech do we have to work with here?

Coran: well, we should be able to get a chemical composition readout with this machine here *pats one* but it will only tell us in Altean. If you can update it with the cellular makeup of human medical chemicals, then we should be able to make an exact replica

Pidge: *sighs* guess I'll get on it then. I first have to figure out which ones are in these pills.

Coran: is there not simply a medical database you could find and upload?

Pidge: Yeah. That's a better idea. It will still take some time though. For one thing, I have to find a completed one, since I have no idea what these are for, I can't just find them and add their information.

Coran: why not start with the ones in the bottle then? It looks like there is a composition list on it if I am not mistaken with the English I have been learning.

Pidge: yeah, since this one is just for stress, he didn't seem to see a reason to hide what it is like the others.

Coran: then let us start there and use the time it takes to analyze and recreate them as our cushin for the others.

Pidge: *nods and sets to work*

Coran: besides, we have a larger sample pool with these, we can afford to make mistakes on this lot, not the next though.

Pidge: *nods* we may need a couple chances

Coran: *nods and starts warming up the machines they would need as Pidge worked on her part*

~several hours later~

Pidge: okay, so I uploaded the formulas for the stress pills and I think I found a fairly comprehensive list of the likely other chemicals for the rest of the meds ... but just to be sure, I wonder if Lance would show Keith the bottles and he could just mark off which ones we needed, just to be sure. *sighs*

Coran: well it can't hurt to ask

Pidge: I guess, since you know how to use this stuff I'll leave it to you while I try to make this go quicker. *grabs her laptop, disconnecting all the cords connecting it to different machines and stands up, stretching*

Coran: sounds good to me ^_^

Pidge: *takes her laptop and leaves for Lance's room, hoping their both still there*

~ Lance's room ~

Pidge: *knocks on the door*

*shuffling sounds are heard and then Keith is at the door*

Keith: *in a hushed voice* careful, he fell asleep.

Pidge: yeah, well I need either you or him to check the list I have to make sure we have all the correct chemicals & such. We want this to work for him. The make up should be on the bottles, but I doubt he'd want anyone looking at them. _

Keith: ... I don't really want to ask him that, it might set him off again _

Pidge: yeah, but I don't want to make faulty medication to set him off even more. -_-

Keith: *sighs* I get it, but this is a really touchy subject …

Pidge: Dude. I've been working on this for 4 hours straight. I'm into robotics, not pharmaceuticals. /I'm/ touchy. ... *takes a deep breath & sighs* alright. Since he has a bit of a supply left, we can wait until tomorrow, but I still need to know if I missed anything if I'm going to keep working on it.

Keith: maybe if you ask him if I can look at it he'll consider it, if I ask he'll probably blow up again. And after the progress we made earlier, I don't want to backtrack.

Pidge: *nods* fine. I'll ask him later.

Keith: I'll see if I can get him to go to dinner later, you might be able to ask him then.

Pidge: *shrugs* sounds good to me.

~ before le dinner ~

Keith: *shakes Lance's shoulder lightly, trying to wake him up gently* hey, Lance, it's time for dinner.

Lance: *groans & curls up, muttering* don't wanna.

Keith: are you sure? You burned a lot more calories than normal today what with all the dancing around, and then three rounds of sex, and running off and crying ... you're probably pretty hungry.

Lance: I'm more tired than hungry. *stomach growls*

Keith: well, seeing as you just took a 5 hour nap, and haven't eaten in a while, let's just go get dinner, okay? ^_^

Lance: *sighs* fiiiiine.

Keith: *kisses his nose* good. ^_^

Lance: *sits up* I'm so sick of food goo. -_-

Keith: well maybe Hunk made real food tonight then?

Lance: or at least as close as he could get to it. *shrugs & stands up to stretch*

Keith: he gets just as sick of food goo as the rest of us, it wouldn't be surprising.

Lance: yeah, I'd still kill for a pizza or something right about now.

Keith: *groans* don't do that to me. I haven't thought about proper Earth food in months!

Lance: I still think about it every time we eat.

Keith: why would you torture yourself like that? Are you secretly a masochist? *half teasing*

Lance: *smirks* maybe you'll find out later~

Keith: *rolls his eyes, blushing slightly* come on, let's just go get food *smiling*

Lance: *shrugs & follows after*

*they both walk to the dining room*

Hunk: *walking in from the kitchen with the food he'd prepared* Hey guys! Right on time, everything is all ready to go. ^_^

Lance: it's not goo night again is it?

Hunk: *shrugs* I did my best to make something edible. I don't think it turned out too bad. *sets down a large bowl of what could be considered pasta*

Lance: ... what's it supposed to taste like?

Hunk: well, I was kinda going for a seafood linguine type thing. I hope the rest if you think it's okay.

Pidge: as long as it doesn't jiggle or move when I try to spork it, I'm sure it'll be great.

Hunk: *shrugs* it should be fine. Everybody dish up! ^_^

Lance: *dishes himself a decent portion and sits down*

*everyone dishes up & starts eating*

Keith: Not bad.

Shiro: he's right, it's pretty good, sort of like, imitation crab?

Lance: *pushing the food around a bit, knowing he's hungry, but still not sure he wants to eat*

Hunk: Come on Lance, I wanna know what you think of it. *smiles*

Lance: *stares at it for a minute before taking a bite* it's great Hunk. *gives a small half smile* leagues better than goo

Hunk: *grins* glad to hear it ^_^

Allura: well, I suppose, since I didn't get to say it earlier, congratulations on you two finally dating *smiles, trying to lighten the mood*

Coran: To be honest though, we thought you already were

Keith: *slightly chokes* what?!

Allura: the way you two interacted with each other preciously, it was fairly obvious that you liked each other.

Keith: But we were fighting. All the time. _

Coran: we assumed it was some strange Earten form of courtship *shrugs*

Shiro: Sometimes that's the case, but not often. Keith is just stubborn. *teases*

Hunk: in Lance's case it was just bad flirting *chuckles*

Coran: could have fooled us ^_^

Lance: *rolls his eyes* hey, my "bad flirting" worked out in the end. *huffs, taking another bite of food*

Pidge: is it really flirting if you're practically dry humping him into the couch~? *Snickers*

Lance: sometimes you have to be aggressive.

Shiro: there's aggressive, and then there savage, Lance *chuckles*

Keith: I thought I was actually going to die. _

Shiro: *chuckles* not the worst way to go though. It's probably one of the preferable ones.

Keith: I did not want to die with a boner Shiro. That would have been awful!

Hunk: hey, in your defense, Keith, there has never been anyone who has watched Lance dance and /not/ gotten aroused. So, it would have been understandable. *smiles*

Shiro: besides, when you die your body relaxes. You wouldn't have it for much longer after. *snickers*

Lance: yup, see, no worries after you die.

Keith: *rolls his eyes* no one actually knows what happens after you die. For all we know, life could just repeat itself.

Lance: like life in general-reincarnation? Or you just relive your own life again, just slightly differently? Because that would be a damn shame to think that that's all there is.

Keith: *shrugs* either way. I was more thinking of the second one, but who knows. Could be nothing. We could wander the universe as ghosts or whatever. It might be better, might be worse.

Lance: fuck that. Living this life once is more than enough for me. I'd much prefer oblivion after death thank you very much. *shrugs*

Pidge: I dunno, being a ghost and haunting the shit out of people would be fantastic! I'd haunt that asshole Iverson!

Shiro: ^_^' Don't be too mean. He was just doing his job. Not that I approve of the orders he was given.

Hunk: yeah, don't blame ya' there.

Keith: my old caseworker. She was a bitch. *shrugs*

Shiro: ^_^' you guys, they're all just doing their jobs ...

Keith: Well then they were pretty shitty at them. _

Lance: I can't speak for Keith's old caseworker, but both my dad and Iverson are grade A assholes.

Hunk: I agree.

Pidge: if you could haunt someone who would you pick Hunk? *grins*

Hunk: hmm, probably Zarkon or someone like that, he's the only one making me mad at the moment.

Pidge: you're gonna haunt another ghost? Obviously we'll have dealt with him before any of us die *smirks*

Hunk: *shrugs* yeah, sure. Why not?

Keith: I don't think that's a thing. _

Lance: definitely not a thing bro. *chuckles* don't you remember Danny Phantom from when were kids, ghosts can hurt or kill other ghosts, I'd stick to haunting the living if I were you

Coran: so then, what happens to the ghosts that are killed? *confused*

Lance: you know, that was never addressed.

Hunk: did any of them even actually "die" again? Didn't Danny just beat them up and send them back to the Ghost Zone?

Lance: which was mistake number 1 really. He could have solved so many problems if he had just done 'em in again. *shrugs, poking at his food once more*

Hunk: then they left the whole thing for Dan open & never did anything with it. They missed a lot of opportunities.

Lance: you know, for as psycho as Dan was, he was pretty hot. And his voice was like, thirteen year old me's version of sex.

Keith: *raises a brow* does that mean you masturbated to him or just like came in your pants to the sound of his voice while watching it? *snickers*

Lance: It just made me really horny

Hunk: well there was that one time while we were watching Teen Titans that you-

Lance: that was not my fault! *pouts*

Keith: I think I need to hear this one *snickers*

Lance: you have heard quite enough already today, thank you very much. *huffs*

Keith: You're gonna have to tell me that one later. *smirks*

Lance: not gonna happen, and Hunk if you tell him, or anyone for that matter I will end you. We swore never to talk about it, and here you are, bringing it up.

Hunk: *still laughing* yeah, sorry bro

Pidge: no no no, you can't just tease dirt like that in front of us and not follow through!

Hunk: Sorry Pidge, can't tell you *chuckling*

Pidge: bullshit! Spill now!

Lance: you spill, you're dead.

Shiro: I'm a little interested myself *chuckles*

Lance: too bad.

Keith: you know, we're all gonna come to our own conclusions *teases*

Lance: and you know, real friends would just let it drop, and a good boyfriend wouldn't ask anymore questions about it.

Keith: *chuckles* sorry

Lance: is that a "sorry, I'll stop" sorry, or a "sorry, I'm still gonna ask and be a dick" sorry? -_-

Keith: that's a "sorry, I'll try to ignore the nagging question in my mind for as long as I can"

Lance: in which you mean forever, because I am not going to tell you.

Keith: ^_^'

Hunk: such event that shall not be spoken of really wasn't as interesting as you all probably think it was.

Pidge: well it obviously must be a big deal.

Lance: doesn't matter.

Pidge; *sighs, unhappily* fine, I'll drop it. For now.

Coran: I am a bit lost …

Hunk: don't worry about it.

Allura: Lance, you seem to be keeping a lot of secrets from us.

Lance the secrets I'm keeping aren't really imperative to forming Voltron ... _

Hunk: this one isn't at least ^_^'

Lance: *kicks him under the table, averting his eyes, acting as if it totally hadn't happened or been him*

Hunk: *winces* oww

Lance: *feigns ignorance* did you hurt yourself Hunk? Are you okay?

Hunk: *rolls his eyes* uh huh.

Shiro: Lance. *leader tone*

Lance: *looks up to him innocently* yeeees?

Shiro: Don't be mean.

Lance: whaaaat? Me? Mean? I think you have me confused with Pidge or Keith. I would /never/ secretly kick my best friend in the shin under the table for over sharing. That is, /absolutely impossible./

Shiro: Violence isn't the answer here. We'll stop asking about it. Pidge, that means you too.

Pidge: why is everyone pointing fingers at me today?! Is my word not good enough or something? *huffs and crosses her arms*

Shiro: we just know how stubborn you can be is all. ^_^'

Pidge: uh-huh, whatever, I'm totally telling Matt you were helping the others gang up on me when we find him.

Shiro: *rolls his eyes* if he were here now, he'd agree with me.

Pidge: suuure he would.

Shiro: He would.

Pidge: keep tellin' yourself that lie if it'll help you sleep better at night *smirks*

Shiro: I'd sleep much better if I knew that both he and your father are okay. _

Pidge: _

Shiro: but enough of that for now.

Pidge: *grumbles* you started it. _

Shiro; yeah. Sorry. _

Lance: so how hot /is/ Pidge's brother Shiro? Like, on a scale of Teenage Coran adorable to you.

Shiro: ^_^' I'm a bit biased, most of the time he's more adorable than sexy though. But not all the time~

Coran: I made the scale? *smiling*

Lance: of course! You are Coran the gorgeous man after all! *grins* and dear lord were you adorable in that time loop thing you guys got stuck in. ^_^

Pidge: … I don't like hearing you call Matt sexy, that just sounds wrong.

Shiro: because he's your brother. *chuckles*

Pidge: duh.

Shiro: but he's my boyfriend, so to me he's one of the sexiest guys I've seen. ^_^

Lance: *laughs* I'll have to take your word for it.

Pidge: *rolls her eyes* He's a dork.

Keith: oh, so, like Lance then? *nods* I can see the appeal then. *smirks*

Pidge: A different kind of dork, but yeah.

Lance: hey!

Keith: what?

Shiro: he is pretty tall and lanky like Lance is *chuckles*

Pidge: his hair is usually kept the same way mine is now.

Lance: so he's a sexy gremlin?

Shiro: *laughs* If I still had a picture with me, I'd show it to you.

Keith: I only met him twice, I remember the back of his head and glasses. That's it.

Shiro: yeah, you were pretty weary of new people.

Lance: oh yeah, no, that hasn't changed, the only thing that has it his readiness to stab said new person in the face.

Keith: *shrugs* that statement isn't wrong.

Hunk: ... but the fact that you admit that it isn't is sort of alarming though.

Keith: how so?

Hunk: defenders don't usually stab first, and then ask questions later.

Keith: who said it wouldn't be in self defense? Maybe they're an asshole that's in need of a scar or two.

Lance: or maybe they're on our side and just happen to act like snarky assholes? -_-

Keith; *shrugs* then. My bad.

Allura: ^_^'

Shiro: you should really figure that out before you stab someone ^_^'

Keith: noted?

Shiro: good

Lance: that sounded an awful lot like a question to me.

Shiro: well now that you guys are dating, Lance, you can keep him in line and not going stab happy. ^_^

Lance: I can't promise that I will succeed.

Pidge: then the blood is on your hands too if something happens~?

Keith: I don't think that's how that works

Pidge: says who?

Keith: says me. Were you not paying attention or something?

Pidge: well I said it is, so I guess you weren't paying attention first *snickers* what, have you never heard of guilty by association?

Keith: *shrugs* If I stab someone, it's my own doing.

Pidge: well yeah, but that's like saying the getaway driver didn't actually help physically rob the bank. Or the the supplier didn't help build the bomb. They're still involved.

Shiro: She has you beat there Keith.

Keith: if I stab someone, it isn't Lance fault though.

Pidge: but he does have the emotional leverage to have stopped you, so if he doesn't he's just as much in the wrong as you are.

Hunk: ... unless they do deserve it.

Keith: and more than likely, they would. Besides, what if he's not with me at the time? It would fall on just me. Again. Not his fault.

Pidge: then it would be whoever left you alone's fault.

Keith: *rolls his eyes* I don't need a keeper.

Shiro: weeeeeeell I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be a /horrible/ idea ... _ ... we should all use the buddy system in sensitive situations.

Keith: What the hell Shiro. You're not actually going to make someone responsible for me and my actions.

Shiro: ... nooooo? _

Keith: That's not a convincing response.

Lance: come on Shiro, he's a big boy, he can clean up his own mess.

Pidge: maybe in the bedroom, but in diplomacy? Nah. He's a ticking time bomb.

Keith: If I do something stupid, it's on my head. -_-

Hunk: or Allura's. Since she ends up having to fix it.

Keith: *rolls his eyes*

Allura: they are not wrong …

Keith: well then you can just blame me for it anyways. *shrugs*

Lance: *shakes his head* This is stupid.

Keith: I agree.

Pidge: well if you want to talk about something else, I have a topic; we need the ingredients list for your meds so I can upload the correct chemical formulas into Coran's machinery. Can you show Keith the bottle and let him go over a list I've compiled of common ingredients to make sure everything is accounted for? *crosses her arms*

Lance: ... Um ... That's not really ... I'd rather not. _

Pidge: You need the meds right? In order for me to duplicate them correctly I need to make sure I have all the information I need.

* * *

 **Notes:**

I was gonna break it up a bit more but well ... I didn't really know where.

If we write more for this at any point, I'll update this fic


End file.
